We should all thank Mr Kirkland for setting the record straight and now leave him be

http://www.cbc.ca/radio/thecurrent/the-current-for-may-9-2018-1.4654246/in-wake-of-allegations-against-mp-christine-moore-why-don-t-male-victims-of-sexual-harassment-report-1.4654254

In wake of allegations against MP Christine Moore, why don't male victims of sexual harassment report?

Males socialized to believe they can't seek help, says support worker

CBC Radio · 2 hours ago

Glen Kirkland, an Afghanistan veteran, said that the incidents involving NDP MP Christine Moore began after he testified before a parliamentary committee in July 2013. (CBC) 

The media knew about reports of inappropriate behaviour of NDP MP Christine Moore but did not initially cover them, according to the Afghanistan veteran who has made allegations against her.

Glen Kirkland alleges that the Quebec MP invited him to her office after he testified before a parliamentary committee in July 2013.

He told the CBC's Neil Macdonald that she later followed him back to his hotel room, where she spent the night. In the weeks and months that followed, she sent him a string of explicit messages and showed up at his home.

"I'm not claiming rape here or anything, I want to make that very clear," Kirkland told The Current's Anna Maria Tremonti. As a soldier, he said, Moore's position as an elected MP created a power imbalance between them.

"This is a story of a Member of Parliament taking advantage of their position to get what they want," he said.

"If my gender was female, and [it was] a male MP, think about how different this would be. We'd be talking about jail time, or even worse."


The incident was well-known among parliamentary reporters and even the butt of occasional jokes, said Kirkland, who is now a realtor in Brandon, Man.

"I don't like to think of myself as a survivor. I prefer 'thriver,' he told Macdonald.

"But what she did was inappropriate. Was I a willing participant? I guess it depends on your definition of willing. There was a power imbalance. There was a level of authority there."

Kirkland said that Moore offered him alcohol when they first met in her office. When he refused, he alleges that she persisted. (Adrian Wyld/Canadian Press)

Supporting men who survive abuse

"The vast majority of men who have had this experience don't perceive themselves as survivors," said Rick Goodwin, clinical director of Men & Healing, a group that offers counselling services for men who have suffered trauma.

Part of the challenge of providing support to men who are subjected to sexual violence, he added, is that it's fundamentally seen as a woman's experience.

Kirkland's story defies the popular conception of the topic, he told Tremonti.

• CBC NEWS | Jagmeet Singh says he always believes survivors. Well, here's one

Goodwin is a consultant with 1 in 6, an international support organization for male survivors of sexual assault.

"The 1 in 6 reference is for males who have had that experience as children," he said, adding that the figure is closer to 1 in 8 when expanded to include adults.

In 2014 figures, Statistics Canada found that only 1 in 200 men report sexual assault.​

Kirkland, seen here in a wheelchair, was severely injured in a Taliban ambush in 2008. (Tobi Cohen/Canadian Press)

Why men don't report

Despite the momentum of the #MeToo movement, it is still incredibly hard for most survivors to come forward, said Lenore Lukasik-Foss, the chair of the Ontario Coalition of Rape Crisis Centres.

"Sometimes males are socialized that they don't feel it's OK to seek help, they may not feel comfortable [or] able to talk about this," she told Tremonti. "There may be shame in a different kind of way."

When they do come forward, she said, the stories that men tell are the same as the ones of female survivors.

The reality is that women are still more vulnerable, and we just know that.- Lenore Lukasik-Foss

Men at greater risk include those who are gay or perceived as gay, as well as men with physical or intellectual disabilities, she said.

On the whole however, women experience this kind of violence in greater numbers.

"I'm not trying to lessen the victimization that men and male-identified folks experience — we know that that's real," she said. "But the reality is that women are still more vulnerable, and we just know that."

NDP leader Jagmeet Singh speaks to reporters in the foyer of the House of Commons on Parliament Hill on May 9, 2018. He announced a full investigation into the allegations. (Sean Kilpatrick/THE CANADIAN PRESS)

Kirkland hopes 'gender won't be a factor'

Earlier this year, Moore sent an email complaining about the behaviour of fellow NDP MP Erin Weir, which prompted an investigation and his ousting from the caucus last week.

Kirkland believes that these developments are what brought the story to light, even though it had long been the subject of persistent rumours among parliamentary reporters.

• THE CURRENT | Is there a generational divide in the #MeToo movement?
• THE CURRENT | #MeToo (but not you): Black women 'left out of the conversation'

The Current requested an interview with Moore but she declined, stating that "out of respect for the fairness and the integrity of the process, I will not be commenting further on these allegations at this point." She was suspended from caucus duties earlier this week, pending an investigation.

Kirkland wants the coverage to send a message about the responsibilities of people in positions of power, and he hopes that the NDP's ultimate decision will be fair.

"I hope that gender isn't a defining fact in this," he said, "it should be an equal balance for everyone."


Listen to the full conversation at the top of this page.

21 Comments

  

David Amos

Methinks the Fake Left have a rahter huge headache and its looks good on them N'esy Pas?

David Amos

@David Amos Man my spelling sucks this evening my apologies once again

 

Doug James

Men don' t want to be seen as victims, there is little sympathy for weak men...especially from women who sneer at both alpha and beta males.

David Amos

@Doug James I agree

 

James Doyle

Why does the media politicians etc keep referring to these victims survivors. People survived the sinking of The Titanic Normandy landings and any other major accident. To say survivor is saying theses people had expected to die in most cases this is not the outcome, stop using the English language to sit yourselfs.

David Amos

@James Doyle Mr Kirkland survived a battle overseas I believe he earned the title

  
Kevin Wilkins

A woman gets her butt pinched in a bar and it can lead to very serious consequences for the offender. A guy gets his genitals grabbed by a woman in a bar and he's lucky, so shut up and stop whining.... That is unfortunately the way it is, and probably will stay

David Amos

@Kevin Wilkins True

  
Jeff McKellar

I was groped by a female at work- she actually stuck her hand down my pants and fondled me. It was such a shock that I said nothing. Nor would I accuse her now, because in every other way she was a friend and colleague.

But the article is correct- more men need to come forward, but we are socialized to accept female sexual aggression as part of female privilege. Somehow they are doing us a favour by violating us. This needs to stop.

Currently there is an epidemic of female teachers having sex with teenage boys, and no one seems too concerned. Maybe it's time for the media, including CBC, to begin to address issues that affect both genders.

Anything else is pure politically correct sexism.

David Amos

@Jeff McKellar Methinks the Me Too Movement would suffer if the awful truth were to be revealed N'esy Pas?

  
Gord Moore

There should be government money going for help and shelters for men.

David Amos

@Gord Moore Rather than spending money on shelters etc men would be far better assisted if the judges and the Crown started listening to them instead of hanging them based on mere unproven allegations. I know of many men who have made a deal with the Crown for a lessor sentence then plead guilty to something they didn't do because they simply could not afford a lawyer.

  

Hird Kerry

Despite the changes in gender equality over the last decades, there is no question that men are still expected to take the lead in making initial contacts and developing relationships between the sexes.

Now that women have turned this into an impossible minefield for men, woman may find that it will now fall upon them to start doing some of the heavy lifting in mating (unless everyone turns celibate).

Because after #metoo, no woman should be expecting a guy they work with to risk their job to ask her out.

David Amos

@Hird Kerry Sad but true

  
Pete Bark

#womendoittoo

David Amos

@Pete Bark YUP

 

Corey MacNeil

This has gone way too far

Weir is the victim here in my opinion

"Mr. Weir failed to read non-verbal cues in social settings"

"When Mr. Weir was told his advances were unwanted, he stopped."

I see absolutely nothing wrong here, his advances were unwanted and as soon as he was aware he stopped. Apparently you can loose your job just for being socially awkward and getting turned down now

"failed to read non-verbal cues" might as well just round up everyone with Autism right now then and ban them from public engagements for the foreseeable future. I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times I've failed to read "non-verbal" queues.....not everyone is a mind reader and many good people genuinely struggle with social situations for various reasons

David Amos

@Corey MacNeil Well Put Sir

  
Russell Clark

And may the flood gates of blaming women who are abusive open now. Maybe there will be a male #MeToo so that every claim (true or false will not matter since it does not in the current situation) will result in a women being removed from position, forced to step aside simply because, etc.
It is becoming a very sad situation in the world when proof is not needed - just allegations.

David Amos

@Russell Clark Mr Kerkland did not complain CBC broke the story and he was merely setting the record straight. My hat is off to him.

Methinks if men complained of the ladies sexually harassing them other men would tease the hell out of them. Hence there will be no #MeToo for men ever N'esy Pas?

David Amos

@David Amos My apologies to Mr Kirkland for the misspelling of his name